Reflection Blog Post

I am happy to say that working with the teams I was assigned during this course have been filled with learning experiences.

The Conflict Style team matched me with an individual who shared my conflict style and we breezed through our survival exercise by listening, accommodating and collaborating.



The Final Group project team was a bit more challenging.  One of our team members went into the hospital and was quite sick but somehow managed to pre-load our presentation to start us off before he got sick.  I then came into the picture and chose the leadership challenge and attempted to communicate with the third teammate.  He was quite aloof but at the 11th hour, literally, he pulled through. However it took a lot of prodding and coaching on my part to make it happen.  I sent him many files to do research on the topic and he was unable to comprehend or report on the theme again, until the 11th hour but by then it was too little, too late. He most certainly "avoided" the project.

Playing in the leadership role throughout the course had become a priority. I am happy to step up to be a leader but also happy to take a back seat and let someone else lead.  During this last group exercise I needed to take the leadership role because the project would not have been completed had I not stepped up to the plate.

One thing I have learned about group projects is that some things do not change; there is usually a natural leader and usually individuals who take a lesser role for whatever reason.  Another area of knowledge that I have acquired during group project exercises as a result of this course is to listen, learn and coach the other individuals rather than complain about their lack of input.  I have gained a more positive tone in my approach as a result.

Groups vs. Teams

According to bizjournals.com, a "group is a collection of individuals who coordinate their individual efforts."  Take for example a bus tour.  Individuals choose to take bus tours in many countries to help them get around for personal pleasure.  Teamtechnology.com takes it one step further and describes a group as "a social community consisting of two or more people who have something in common."  I prefer this second definition as it is more clear.

A team, on the other hand, is a group of people who share a common team purpose and goals and are committed to the goals and each other and are dependent on each other for the success of the outcome (Biz/TeamTech).

I am reminded of a time I worked with a team using the Tuckman's Model of Group Development. The title of this model is actually what took place at the beginning of the team formation.  We took a group of individuals with varied expertise and assembled a team in order to create an Intranet for the College.  If we were individuals who were just talking about our common reasons for wanting an Intranet, we would have stayed as a group.  However, once we entered into conversations about what we can do to create an Intranet, we were able to use each other's expertise to help create it.  While reviewing the Tuckman Model of Group Development, I can honestly state that we did go through each of these stages before we were able to complete and assess our work as a team.  The most uncomfortable stage for me was par of the storming stage when some people in the room, including me, were vying for position.  I have since learned how to better manage my insecurities in a group of individuals who vie for position rather than joining in as that most definitely backfired.  I notice this more with women than men and is something I am going to do some research on in a future paper.

At the Forming Stage, we acquainted all of the individuals with each other through awareness and inclusion.  I stated the reason why this group was formed and the goal of the team moving forward.  At the Storming Stage, we began to communicate, holding onto our unique talents and preconceived notions through inner-conflict and vying for position.  Once people felt heard and their opinions validated through structure and cooperation (Norming Stage), I was able to move into the Performing Stage so we could get to our work at hand through cohesion and group identity and drive it to completion with success.  Here, we were able to take the individual talents of each individual and use it for the purpose set aside for this team.  The final stage, Adjourning, is critical to all teams after they complete a project. Important aspects of this stage include transitions that may need to take place and recognition of team member contributions.  We are still at the Performing Stage but will remember to adjourn in a timely manner.

References

http://www.bizjournals.com/bizjournals/how-to/growth-strategies/2013/06/the-difference-between-a-group-and-a.html

http://www.teamtechnology.co.uk/team/dynamics/vs-group-dynamics/

https://www.slideshare.net/perspectum/5-stages-of-group-development-norms-tuckman-16474067

Conflict Style - TKI Quadrant

According to Thomas and Killman, there are Five Conflict Management Styles; competing, avoiding, compromising, collaborating and accommodating.  Take a look at this PowerPoint I created to explain the Five Conflict Management Styles.

As you can see by the table, below, each style has an assertiveness and a cooperativeness level associated with it.  Each of them, as you can see in the Five Conflict Styles Power Point, are useful at times but not at other times.

Click here for link to TKI site

We were asked to take a self-assessment test to determine our preferred conflict management style. You, too, can take an assessment through the TKI website.

The results can be quite startling.  My score is as follows:

1. Avoiding was the highest with 11 points, which is the most commonly used conflict style
2. Compromising came in second with 10 points
3. Third was a tie with collaborating and accommodating 
4. Fourth and final was competing, which is the least preferred style

Managing conflict is not one of my strengths.  As the second oldest in a family of four, it has been very difficult to compete with my big sister.  She is the exact opposite of me.  She takes more of an authoritative approach to her relationships and conflicts where I tend to avoid conflict; I think due to the lack skills for the right approach.  This scenario supports my highest conflict style score on the conflict management assessment, which was avoidance but only by one point.  My next level style was compromise, which is not a positive approach either, as nobody wins from this middle-ground approach.

I am not sure if there is a way to be more flexible in my approach to avoiding conflict.  I think I need to be more rigid so problems get addressed and resolved.  Take for example a recent exchange regarding a family heirloom I requested from my siblings.  There was only one heirloom I cared about.  I was told by one sibling, yes, you can have it.  My sister avoided my request until I asked her again and rather than be direct that she wanted it, she said we need to have a family discussion about all of the family heirlooms and that she would relinquish something she asked me for that I said yes about.  My opinion here is that she was avoiding the conflict but being authoritative as well.  It implied that she now wanted the heirloom I wanted and was willing to give up the something of less value to her.  When I respond to requests of this nature, I first think about how important it is to me versus how important it may be to the other individual.  I reneged on my request and have regretted it ever since.  I do not see how I could have changed this outcome.  Perhaps I could have waited a bit longer to give her a chance to think about it.  However, history reminds me that she wins at all costs.

This conflict style reminds me of a communication style I need to address as well:  I do not do well in one on one or small group settings in getting my point across. I need to learn how to be more persuasive and clear with my intentions.  I look forward to seeing how I can continue to grow in these areas of need.  Interestingly, my least favorite preference is "competition." Many would argue that of me because I do push hard but I do not like to create hostile environments.

On the bright side, if you look at all of my conflict management style scores, on average, I tend to be accommodating and collaborative.  This is true on an on-going basis, especially at work in large teams I lead or areas within my control. In addition, my scores were so close that you could assume that I am flexible with my conflict style.  It really depends on the situation as to how I would manage it.

References

https://books.google.com/books/about/Applying_Communication_Theory_for_Profes.html?id=qLxzcFIgykIC&source=kp_cover&hl=en

MIT:  Conflict Management - Conflict Styles

TKI Self Assessment Instrument

NBI Profile - Influencer

Enthusiasm, action and collaboration are key strengths of an influencer.  I am considered an influencer.  These attributes engage people to want to get involved and be a part of any type of new or innovative change in an organization.  Influencers would make great mentors for millennials, who seek acceptance, supportive leadership and an inclusive environment.  This approach "leverages every individual's passion, commitment and innovation and elevates employee engagement, empowerment and authenticity," says Lydia Dishman.  According to Raj Tylsiani, "a culture where diverse thinking flourishes can also mitigate the use of 'groupthink.'"

The NBI exercise has confirmed for me many attributes I was already aware of; some being more in the forefront than others.  Sometimes I do find myself working against my preferences because I need to pay attention to those things that hold me back from being a successful leader.  For example, my enthusiastic approach to every project can be off-putting to others and since I have recently learned that I could be perceived as reckless, I will definitely slow down and try to take a more systematic approach to projects I work on.

However, at other times, I am working within my preference as a team leader and collaborator.  I am skilled at getting groups together and brainstorming.  This has enhanced my popularity as I am a change-agent and value innovative thinking and ideas. I am also goal-oriented, which appeals to those who may think differently than me.  Those individuals are very important to the success of my teams as they help drive me to completion of a project.

According to Einstein's way of thinking, as outlined in Iain McGilchrist's video, The Divided Brain, we are spending more time honoring the rational mind as a faithful servant rather than embracing our intuitive mind and allowing for more dialog to take place resulting in the attainment of more knowledge.  After watching this video, I have now expanded my understanding of right and left brain activity and the importance of the need for both hemispheres of the brain to work in conjunction with each other.  This allows for the closed system of self-serving perfection and manipulation (virtual) from the left side of the brain to be influenced by the important use of relational (real) wisdom from the right brain.

"Getting a better understanding of yourself is the first step to becoming more effective when working with others," states DISC on their website. It is especially helpful when communicating with other individuals. This has helped me further understand my view of others and their view of me, including my expectations and the ability to self-correct in response to cues picked up from other people's body language.  I am an enthusiastic and welcoming person, who sometimes only sees my side of things.  By becoming more attentive and a better listener, I have created an environment where I have gained trust from my colleagues.  This is helping me to become more authentic, which is very important to me.  I can be perceived as too self-assured and outspoken so I need to be careful in this area so people don't take my opinions as personal attacks.  Through this process, I have learned to give people time to speak and show them that I care about what they have to say.

Two ways in which I can increase my performance effectiveness as a leader would be to:

1. Respond quickly with a direct approach when a problem occurs so it does not become a bigger problem

2. Slow down so people have a chance to process what is taking place; allow time for silence so people can put their thoughts together

These are two tactics that I will use to enhance my leadership capacity as I continue to grow as a leader. The learning needs to continue and has been noticed by my staff.  One individual, who has worked with me for seven years, has recently commented on my growth as a leader.  She shared with me the aspects of my growth and how proud she is to be a part of this growth.  This is a gift from my colleague that helps me appreciate where I have come from and the positive effects of the hard work I have been putting into my growth as a leader.

References 

     Dishman, Lydia.  Millennials Have a Definition of Diversity and Inclusion (May 2015). Fast Company

     Tylsiani, Raj.  Understanding the Business Benefits of Cognitive Diversity (June 2013). HR Magazine

McGilchrist, Ian.  The Divided Brain (video).

Http://www.discprofile.com/what-is-disc/overview
.

Storytelling

According to Raj Tulsiani in Understanding the Business Benefits of Cognitive Diversity, "a culture where diverse thinking flourishes can [also] mitigate the risk of groupthink...the tendency of people of similar cultural backgrounds and characteristics to conform with accepted norms and patterns of behavior, rather than challenging the status quo..." can lead to innovation.  He also believes that diversity of thought can fuel the power of collective difference.

What does this mean?  In the world of today, it is so important to seek a broad knowledge of understanding by inquiry and really listening to others' points of view.  People come from different cultural backgrounds and diversity of thought and in order to gain respect and a deeper understanding of the world, it is imperative that we listen and learn about how others are approaching the same world we share.  Diversity of thought should be embraced, appreciated and incorporated into everyone's daily lives.  This would allow for a more empathetic society.  We have differing opinions but what we do with those makes all the difference.  I am lucky enough to work in an environment where I am able to not only think this way but witness others thinking this way.

I grew up in a strict Irish Catholic home and went to Catholic schools my entire life.  As a matter of fact, I am currently enrolled in a Catholic college.  Collectively, I can attribute 33 of my 58 years on this earth as being enrolled in Catholic educational institutions.  I say this because while one could say I am a product of "groupthink," I will tell you I used to feel that way.  I followed the path of least resistance most of my childhood until I reached high school, where I started to challenge the status quo.  However, during my challenges to the expected norms, I was able to continue to follow my faith and apply the many characteristics of my upbringing to every relationship I made and continue to make to this day.  While most of these years were spent with the influence of the Dominican Sisters of Amityville, they have taught me to listen, learn and ask the right questions on my path of self-discovery.  This clearly supports the thoughts of Marilee Adams in Lines of Inquiry, "we get the greatest mileage by asking the right questions...The learning questions will lead to discovery,intimacy and understanding."

http://maggiepatterson.com/storytelling-for-business/

Storytelling for Business: Why Stories Sell

Jo Tyler says, "If you don't have a story to tell, switch from storytelling to story listening and to slow down so you can really listen."  If I have learned anything from this week's coursework, it is to listen with intent.  This helped me through the coaching exercises as well.  While I like to consider myself a mentor, I will became a better mentor this week.  The 3-minute listening exercise was the most valuable.  I always had a fear of forgetting what people told me if I didn't write it down or ask questions during the conversation.  What the 3 minutes of listening did for me was give me breathing room and gained trust from the person who was telling me their story.  I also learned to focus my own story on sticking to the topic and having a purpose to my story.  This made my stories more interesting and easy to follow for my listeners.  I also felt "heard" when I was not interrupted during that 3-minute timespan.

All of these past and current experiences have led me to where I am today.  I am grateful for the storytelling opportunities with my classmates and the insight into other people's lives.

One final thought:  Below is a visual outlining the important aspects of listening, using your "whole" body. If we listen with all of our senses and have positive body language, the person we are communicating with will feel a sense of trust.

References

Adams, Marile. (December 2004). Lines of Inquiry. Navigations: Life Balance. Pp. 76 - 78.

Tulsiani, Raj. Understanding the Business Benefits of Cognitive Diversity (June 2013). HR Magazine


Tyler, Jo, Ed.D.: Beauty and Danger: When Leaders Should Not Tell Stories (Video 15:29)

Listening and The Power of Praise and Positive Interactions

I have the distinct pleasure of supervising three very talented individuals, each of whom have different skill sets, strengths and areas in need of development.  I find it part of my responsibility as their supervisor to provide a positive work environment full of opportunities for dialog, listening, and feedback.

I can honestly say that there have been times where I was grabbing at straws to try and praise them for a job well done but they came up short.  What I should have done was praise the process or approach they took to work towards the outcome and will pay more attention to that technique the next time I catch myself not praising them.

Granted, I will not and never do give too much praise or fake praise - that is counterproductive.  On the positive side, I have had the pleasure in the past month to praise each one of them for jobs very well done.  I give higher praise if learning curves are reached and achievements are made in professional development goals. One of my favorite things as a supervisor is to witness growth in the employees who trust me to guide them and encourage them to think outside of their comfort zones and allow room for learning opportunities.

Here is a good example by Jeff Haden The 9 Elements of Highly Effective Employee Praise on how to praise your employees.  The quote below is my favorite:

"Treat employees like snowflakes.

Every employee responds differently to recognition. Many appreciate public praise. Others cringe if they’re made the center of attention. Know your employees and tailor your recognition so it produces the greatest impact for each individual."

Please click on this link if you would like to read more about The Power of Praise and Recognition

You can also learn how to give praise in different situations by clicking on this link from The Muse:  How to Pay Someone a Compliment Without Sounding Like an Insincere Suck Up

Here's a great video as well on giving praise to an employee.  A positive work environment is key:

Leadership Style in Need of Strengthening - Managing Difficult Conversations

I have to say that I am very excited about this class.  I have struggled with conversations for most of my life and am looking forward to seeing how my weakness will turn into a strength.  I am determined.

After evaluating this week's activities, I have realized that I am good in large group settings (I have practiced this over many years) where I am comfortable with the content I am presenting and my audience is there to learn from me.  However, I am uncomfortable in large or small group settings where I am not confident with the content and/or the pushback that I could receive during a conversation/interaction.

I came upon this video (click on link, below) that I will watch consistently to assist me with gaining confidence for these types of interactions. This tutorial gives good advice on how to manage pushback and turn it into a "dance" and validated conversation for both parties.

Managing Difficult Conversations

I also encourage you to follow Fred Kidman on LinkedIn.  He is an "INfluencer" at LinkedIn and his title is Vice President of Leadership and Organizational Development.  Here is a photo of him "pushing back" as demonstrated in his video, Managing Difficult Conversations.